Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Random Notes

I have quite a few random things saved in the "notes" app on my phone and I want to transfer some of them onto my blog. This way I can delete them from my phone, but still have them for future reference. And just fyi these notes are super random. So here goes...

My Goal in Life:
The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it.
The great commandment of life is to love the Lord.
Goal: Put Him FIRST in my life.

Dance movies:
(Yes, I've seen all of these. I was going through my transition from "I hate dancing" to "DANCING IS THE BEST THING EVER" and needed some inspiration.)
Honey 2
Strictly Ballroom
Center Stage
You Got Served
Dirty Dancing
Step Up (I can't remember which one (or ones?) I watched.)
Stomp the Yard
Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Raising kids:
Sometimes when I think about raising kids in this world...it seems like an impossible task. How did my mom do it??

Then I remember:
"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
 - The Family: A Proclamation to the World 

Also, "There is a safe place to raise children. It's called a gospel-centered home." 
- President Boyd K. Packer

Pregnancy Tip: (According to the best mom ever, my mom.)
When you are pregnant, avoid being pressured and stressed out because the baby can feel that. If you strive to be calm and happy throughout your pregnancy, then your baby will be calm and happy too rather than fussy.
Also, READ to your children!!!!!
My mom said she was blessed. My siblings and I were all good babies.

Tips on Resolving Conflicts Effectively (in any relationship):
Remember H.A.L.T. 
Don't talk about important matters or try to resolve a conflict with someone when you are feeling any of the above. If possible, wait until you are in a better frame of mind.
Don't use the words "never" or "always."
Don't bring up the past.
Pinpoint the problem and talk about that. It's not about who is right. It's better to be KIND than it is to be right.
Remember, you can only change yourself. Focus on becoming better yourself rather than on changing other people. You cannot change them. Trying to do so will only lead to frustration.
Don't say:
"If he or she truly loved me, he'd know that ______(blah blah blah fill in the blank_________."
No. Men and women are different. People of the same gender vary greatly. We cannot read people's minds. COMMUNICATE lovingly with each other.
Strengthen your relationship with the Lord and try to become more like Him and your relationships with others will inevitably be strengthened as well.
Boyd K. Packer gave the following advice to a newly-wed couple:
"Just love each other and cut each other a break and you'll be fine."

Workout Ideas:
wall climbs

Dealing with a Break-Up:
lds.org  offers inspired counsel on many topics including how to move-on after a break-up. I would encourage you to check it out, and not just when you're going through a rough time.

"Steps toward Recovery

One can take positive steps toward recovering from the loss of a serious relationship. The first is to recognize that such a loss can be similar to the bereavement we experience at the death of a loved one. Minimizing the loss—that is, telling yourself, “It’s not that big a deal; I should just get over it”—will not help.
It is also important to realize that the loss of a relationship involves multiple additional losses, such as loss of contact with other valued people and loss of enjoyable activities shared with the other person. Even more painful is the loss of “what might have been”—the loss of the life we expected to have and the plans we hoped would become reality.
Healing from such a loss comes in stages as we work through painful feelings. It would be a comfort, perhaps, to believe that “every day I’ll feel a little better,” but the truth is that grief often comes in great rolling waves of emotion. Just when we thought we were getting over it, a seemingly insignificant reminder of the lost love may trigger painful feelings with unexpected intensity. Over time, the frequency and intensity of these spikes of emotion will diminish, but sharp pangs of grief may still be felt even months afterward. Try to be patient with your own grieving process, and acknowledge that the day will come when you will feel better.
In the meantime, consider the following tips:
  • If someone says something like, “I don’t want to be tied down,” “I’m not ready for a relationship,” or “I can’t make that commitment,” believe it. Remember that your love alone is not enough to make a good relationship. You can choose to be loving, but you cannot choose to be loved.
  • Realize that you are not really alone and that isolating yourself won’t help. Instead, look to the supportive relationships in your life for comfort and reassurance.
  • Seek spiritual guidance and counsel from your bishop. His inspired counsel can help alleviate doubt and distress.
  • Ask your father, your bishop, or another worthy priesthood holder for a priesthood blessing. A blessing can reassure you of the Lord’s love and concern for you.
  • Remember that when your feelings are most poignant and tender, you are also likely to be humble and susceptible to the Spirit. This is the time to appeal to the Lord in prayer. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord,” wrote the Psalmist, “and he shall sustain thee” (Ps. 55:22).
  • If you are endowed, visit the temple seeking to understand the Lord’s perspective on you and your life. Honor the Lord’s house as a place of contemplation, serenity, and inspiration.
  • Remember that the Lord has known you from the beginning and has a plan for your happiness. Seek to better understand that plan and to allow yourself to accomplish His purposes for you.
  •  Keep a regular schedule during the day, and make plans for evenings, weekends, and holidays. When you are hurting or depressed, unstructured time is usually unproductive.
  •  Stay involved in activities, and don’t be afraid to start something new and interesting. Take a class, join a new group, begin an exercise program, or take up an outdoor activity.
  • Give yourself some time as an unattached person. Avoid rushing into a new relationship to protect yourself from the pain of the old one.
  • Let go of your souvenirs of the past relationship. Don’t build a shrine to the memory of what has been lost. And stay away from romantic places you used to visit.
  • Keep a “feelings journal.” Writing about your experiences obliges you to organize and make sense of your thoughts and feelings instead of repeatedly reexperiencing the same confusion and distress. Writing in this journal can also be a solace at times when you are alone in your mourning. 
  • Share your feelings with a person you trust. Talking to someone helps you avoid acting in ways that can be self-destructive, such as taking excessive or dangerous risks or making unwise decisions.
  • If you have followed these suggestions but are still not making progress, you may want to consider talking with an experienced professional counselor. Your bishop can help refer you to a counselor with high standards and values consistent with Church teachings."

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